R :
Dear Alv, it is on the third reading of your letter that I have the most tears. It has been a wonderful experience to be with the sentiments you sent. Much like you have been somewhat side-swiped by the information that someone in my position can be doing the "who am I?' work, I am side-swiped by your affirmation of my gifts. I have always been afraid of contributing my voice to the world of spirituality.
I think what I'm trying to say is that our correspondence--and our growing friendship--has made me feel stronger and far less afraid in this work. It is funny about where fears come from. I have been deathly afraid for many decades of speaking up, and it is only in a recent shift that I am feeling brave enough to move forward. It seems that I have been a catalyst for you and you have been a catalyst for me.
I greatly appreciate your sharing so vulnerably of your personal stories. As you helped me to see in an earlier correspondence, stories illustrate so well what mere technical explanation could never touch.
I want to correspond with you soon about a notion I'm sitting with that speaks to the way in which the world is illusion and the way that it is not (??). I am "talking to myself" lately about what is temporal and what is eternal. I've been reading things that tell me that anything we'd see as temporal doesn't really exist, like the body, for example. They would say that the you that is the REAL you doesn't even live in a body; it just appears to. Maybe true or maybe not, but is it a helpful notion? I am flirting with the notion that when I am aware of my eternal self and my temporal self (the first being limitless and having no preconceived notions at all and the latter being a place of personae and pain), I am usually free to choose to look at my temporal life through my eternal eyes. More later on this subject...
I am rushing out now, but I may land in a place where I can hook up my laptop and write more before an appointment I have in a few hours.
Much like you were uncertain about my comfort at being addressed by you as Rebecca (perfectly comfortable, by the way) I am not certain about your comfort at being told straight out, "Alv, I love you."
ALV
You overwhelm me as always with every one of your warm and "from the heart" messages. Is it providence then that today's paper carries quotes on ( guess what) "love". The ones which I liked are
1. "the moment you have in your heart this extra ordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstacy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transfomed."
2. "If only you could love enough, you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world"
3. "Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way, as to complete and fulfill them for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves."
How is it then that we do not have many who can experience this bliss? Is it because of the entertaintment industry, which has reduced it from its sublime to a myopic "boy meets girl" kind of level completely missing out on it's profound nature, as it's God in me which recognises, empathises, and experiences the similar feeling in you, and for want of a better word we call it "love". In that sense I do also love you in equal measure.
No love can ever be selfish, and you seem to me to be a living example of a fellow human being, who is able to not only experience this divine feeling in yourself, but able to kindle this in ordinary human being like me, and allow me to partake in that blissful feeling.
Am I making sense? I dont really know or worry, you have made me experience an unique gift from God called "love", and I am grateful..
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