“The weight of my worldly miseries sits heavily on my heart as a rock, and obstructs my lungs from breathing out. I have a mind to weep, but am prevented from shedding my tears, for fear of my people”.
“My tearless weeping & speechless mouth, give no indication of my inward sorrow to anybody, save to my consciousness which is the silent witness in my solitude”.
Before we come to the authorship of the above quotes, let me take you to Valmikis Ramayan. As per the narration, at the age of fifteen, Rama along with his brothers goes on a pilgrimage. Immediately after this, Rama is said to have gone into a shell, completely impervious to all desires for worldly pursuits, and even the nitya karmas were performed with most perfunctory fashion.
It is at this time sage Viswamitra comes to Dasaratha’s court asking for Rama and Lakshmana, to accompany him to stand guard and protect his yagnyashala, from the terrible rakshasas, who were disrupting his performance of yagnyas.
Rama when produced before the king in his courts, and being asked about the cause of His state of self-mortification, replies that after his visits to holy places, a train of thoughts arose in His mind, which shook his confidence in all worldly objects and goes on to explain in detail the frailty of human beings- starting from childhood to old age, about the ravages of time, death, et al.. (Close to over 4/5 chapters, with each one of them fit to be divine quotes.) The above mentioned quotes are from these……
Rama ends by saying, he would like to do away with the trifle-- the source of all troubles-- the so called physical body; for neither he belongs to it, nor the body belongs to him, and like a null and void oil less lamp, he would abandon everything with this body. He then prays to the elders, to tell him about that state of life which is beyond troubles incident to birth and deaths, and how greats like Janaka, who while being conspicuous in their ceremonies, still retain their pure knowledge..
It would be sublimely ridiculous for me to compare these poignant feelings expressed, by Ram, with what some of us, which would include yours truly, are experiencing, but there is absolutely no gainsaying the fact, that the turmoil inside most of us -- about what we perceive as un-understandable dispensation of Grace-- is anything less genuine, or less honest..
The first reaction when I read these pieces was a terribly humbling feeling; If the Lord himself, when he is born amongst us, can have this absolutely helpless feeling, how can I ever even nurse the idea of an unkind dispensation, let alone dare to complain? But this noble feeling did not last, Rama had a battery of rishis who were there to guide him, He Himself was/is the ever effulgent all pervading universal “one” from whom all beings emerge, upon whom they depend, and unto whom they all merge and become extinct. And it is solely for us( mortals) that He had expressed Himself thus, for the rishis to answer.
This thought process brought me to the question as to where this leaves us. We are all unfortunately back at the very place where we were in earlier; namely in turmoil, and struggling to find answers to our nagging anxieties. The Gurus are just not available (for giving even a modicum of comfort), Rama’s work is over, has gone back to his abode, and when and if He does take another avatar, I am not quite sure I will recognize Him, nor am I certain, that He will condescend to come and give me any comfort.
Given my maverick way of thinking, I choose to think thus. And, continuing in the same vein, I also arrived at some kind of an explanation for the state we are in. This goes like this:
We have all heard of puranic stories, about devoted people doing “tapas” to either seek boons, or just to have a darshan of the effulgent lord. The Lord almost always throws in a lot of temptations; the ones who take the bait, are given to enjoy all the goodies as also the “grace” in abundance.
The one’s who are not tempted, however are visited by untold miseries just to test one’s dedication and sincerity. The ones like me who are constantly troubled probably belong to this category. Having refused the goodies once, and crossed to the next stage, we are stuck, we can no longer aspire for those goodies any more, till He decides a time..
The time He realizes that we are just about ripe for a “darshan” stage, is the time perhaps when He may decide to offer us goodies after all. But will we be prepared to accept? It is difficult to say.
The only thing that I would like to ask of Him therefore is this; Am I (a)still in that lowly stage where I am getting punishments for wrongdoings or (b) in the stage where I can be tempted with “offering goodies” or (c) I have come to the testing- of- sincerity stage. And once He makes me aware will He give me the resilience to bear the punishments, or the severe tests, if I am not in the second category, and perhaps the wisdom not to give-in to the temptations if I am. Alas for these I have no answers, and he apparently chooses not to bother. That’s the rub.
Perhaps there is another answer; considering my orthodox up bringing, this can be sacrilege. Today scientists are discovering newer and newer areas in the study of “brain”. Perhaps one day the scientists will discover the portion of the brain which stimulates spiritual thought and which can be isolated, and using this all could be lead into that ultimate unison with the “one” in absolute bliss. There could be however a choice; one can isolate other portions and experience different states of “being” before deciding to call it all quits, to attain “nirvana”.
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ReplyDeleteComments from Naresh:
ReplyDeleteOm Namo Narayanaya
Amongst the many things that Appa told me as a part of his series of stories, was the distinction I need to make while understanding the Rama Avataram and the Krishna Avataram.
He said, in Rama avataram, Ramar is depicted as a human being and nowhere is his godly attributes in evidence. He is therefore the role model - Maryada Puroshottam.
In contrast, in Krishna avataram, the Lord makes no pretense of his being the Lord and from birth distinctly tells us that I am not from amongst you though I look like one. Therefore, it is very easy to identify (empathise ?) with Ramar and enjoy the "philosophy" propounded by Krishna.
Much of the same feeling of poignancy (as felt with reading ramayana)is felt with the story of Jesus.
How often in the bible does Jesus cry out to the Lord? His words can well be mistaken for the words coming from the ramayana text quoted by vichu athan.
Flesh is heir to suffering, and the mind ever craving for distraction from the suffering of the flesh.
Both search for their true nature in the silent observer - the soul.
Experiencing identity with the process of observation, in body and in the mind, at various points of time, separately and together, however only temporarily, gives us an experience of happiness or sukham.
Dukham, then is only a memory of a past occurence of happiness in a state of comparision with the present experience.
Total identification with the process of observation is perhaps what is referred to as "nirvana"- a term associated more with Budhha's prescription for an end to suffering.
Being the process of observation is Advaita.
Periappa (great man from chennai) says that since this aspect is amenable to human experience in the state of undisturbed deep sleep (REM sleep for the scientifically minded, REM for Rapid Eye Movement - it appears that the eyeball moves end to end rapidly in a state of deep sleep - searching for something?) ITs (ability of the human being to be the process of observation totally) existence (aastik vaadam)cannot be denied. IT is You, IT is GOD,IT is no other.
The philosophy that allows anyone to experience the same in an awake state (called jagruti) is the advaita siddhanta or the advaita philosophy.
What an unimaginable state this ought to be?
Pranam to Elders and Love to others,
Naresh and Uma
PS: As a small child, I used to ask, why is it Ramar, Krishnar and not Shivar, but Shivan!
To me personally, this exchange is fantastic. On the topic of our sense of dissatisfaction, unease and conflict, here is a quite relevant excerpt from a book called "No Boundary", by Ken Wilber, who is also fantastic, so I will quote him verbatim:
ReplyDelete"The movement of descent and discovery begins at the moment you consciously become dissatisfied with life. Contrary to most professional opinion, this gnawing dissatisfaction with life is not a sign of "mental illness", nor an indication of poor social adjustment, nor a character disorder. For concealed within this basic unhappiness with life and existence is the embryo of a growing intelligence, a special intelligence usually buried under the immense weight of social shams. A person who is beginning to sense the suffering of life is, at the same time, beginning to awaken to deeper realities, truer realities. For suffering smashes to pieces the complacency of our normal fictions about reality, and forces us to become alive in a special sense--to see carefully, to feel deeply, to touch ourselves and our worlds in ways we have heretofore avoided. It has been said, and I truly think, that suffering is the first grace. In a special sense, suffering is almost a time of rejoicing, for it marks the birth of creative insight.
But only in a special sense. Some people cling to their suffering as a mother to its child, carrying it as a burden they dare not set down. They do not face suffering with awareness, but rather clutch at their suffering, secretly transfixed with spasms of martyrdom. Suffering should neither be denied awareness, avoided, despised, not glorified, clung to, dramatized. The emergence of suffering is not so much good as it is a good sign, an indication that one is starting to realize that life lived outside unity consciousness is ultimately painful, distressing, and sorrowful. The life of boundaries is a life of battles--of fear, anxiety, pain, and finally death. It is only through all manner of numbing compensations, distractions, and enhancements that we agree not to question our illusory boundaries, the root cause of our endless wheel of agony. But sooner or later, if we are not rendered totally insensitive, our defensive compensations begin to fail their soothing and compensating purpose. As a consequence, we begin to suffer in one way or another, because our awareness is finally directed toward the conflict-ridden nature of our false boundaries and the fragmented life supported by them.
Suffering, then, is the initial movement of the recognition of false boundaries. Correctly understood, it is therefore liberating, as it points beyond boundaries altogether. We suffer, then, not because we are sick, but because intelligent insight is emerging."
So this unease, Ramar's or ours, is perhaps not all bad!
Comments from Ganesh:
ReplyDeleteKunti says, "Arjuna, people cry for name and fame; people cry for success and happiness. I cry only for one thing, only for one person, and that is my Krishna. I cry to him for one special thing. That is to keep me in constant suffering. When I have outer satisfaction, outer prosperity, I do not need Krishna and I forget him. And when I forget him, my life becomes unbearable. This morning I was praying to him, and I did not feel his presence inside my heart. A day I don't feel his presence inside my heart is a day of tremendous suffering. A day I don't feel his presence, I feel miserable; I feel that my real life has ended. That is why I am crying, Arjuna." - Excerpt from "The Singer of the Eternal Beyond" by Sri Chinmoy.
From Naresh:
ReplyDeleteDukh main sumiran sab kare,
Sukh main kare na Koi,
Jo sukh main sumiran kare,
To dukh kahe hoi.
- Kabir