Conversation with G -Voice in Wilderness - Short Story

Anand had just retired from service after a long innings of being the head of a profit Center of a group in Delhi. In his wisdom, -derived out of personal experiences over all these years- he classified human beings (in terms of IQ), into four groups; First, ones who were educated and therefore intelligent (a very few), Second, the educated but who enjoy being idiots (a large number), Third, the ones who were uneducated but yet intelligent (a refreshing minority) and the Fourth, the uneducated and therefore dunces (majority). He was quite proud to identify himself with the third group.     
He was with this circle of friends in his house and watching a reality program in TV. The program was quite popular and was for identifying the best music talent. A kid of about fifteen sang beautifully, and one of the judges made some brilliant comments about this being close to divinity. Quite spontaneously Anand let out a “wah how wonderful” kind of an involuntary remark, as he was able to totally empathize with not only the soulful music but the comments as well, and paused for someone to respond in sync.  . 
One of the friends immediately remarked “ Arre have you heard that Aswini? He sings fantastically well yaar” and as if on cue, another said “yaar you should hear the guys in Amma TV channel, the karnatic style is too good”. And before he could even recover from his disappointment with these dunces –not that he was expecting anything substantially better- the third butted in and completely turned his mood upside down.  

The third- Raju – known to be adept at steering any conversation away to a topic of his choice- was quick to cease the opportunity. He started a discourse on the origins of Music, its different styles, the Muslim contribution etc etc. Anand briefly tried to question the relevance of this, knowing too well that there would be nothing left for anyone but to surrender totally to his “I know all and so listen” kind of harangue. 

He was however strongly rebuked by the wise old man – widely regarded for both his erudition and knowledge- who felt that Anand was being insensitive and any scholarship such as Raju’s needed a hearing. Anand was a bit upset by this observation especially from the old man, and resigned himself to the inevitable; namely that after Raju’s eloquent piece gets delivered he has to feign a “reasonably awed” kind of a look along with all those genuine look of “being awed” from others, which will incidentally include the dunces.         

While he would have lost his cool if this had happened a few years ago, today, to his surprise, he only felt sad.  The beauty of that moment – the excellent singing by that kid, the ambience it created, and the subsequent program itself – all were totally lost, which to him was a result of a clever maneuver, quite unnecessary and petty. He also had two great disappointments; Raju’s innate indifference to anything other than his subjects/choices and the old man’s surprising reluctance to see through the obvious, whatever the circumstances.

His mind went back to his school days and he was reminded of an incidence which appeared similar. He was so absorbed in that past, that he realized it only when his own laughter brought him back to the present. He didn’t quite know what to say as he was hugely embarrassed, and more so as Raju’s eloquence was just then reaching its climax with hugely captivating tidbits of information which bore testimony to his scholarship, and all of it embellished in verbal finery.   

Raju’s face therefore revealed total contempt for Anand’s moronic interruption. He let out his disgust by loudly complaining that it was impossible to imagine how anyone could be so impudent and brainless. The wise old man strangely kept quiet which added to Raju’s boiling rage. Anand’s discomfiture was complete. His laughter was terrible enough, but only he knew that revealing the cause would be a disaster. 

Luckily for Anand, before he could offer some contrived explanation for his rude gesture, his wife brought in huge amounts of “pakoras” and coffee. The change was electric; the snacks which turned out to be delicious, contributed hugely to this change and peace descended slowly and perceptibly. After the usual gossip which follows such rejoicing over food, the friends left one by one, leaving only the old man who had to be dropped at his place by Anand. 

In Anand’s car, the old man started the conversation with an apology. He said he knew, about Raju’s penchant for hijacking conversations with his own themes so as to showcase his scholarship. But it was possible, he added, that there could be contexts- not necessarily merging with the original one, and sometimes those needed to be reckoned. Raju, he continued, had just the previous day, lost a contract which was a huge blow to him. 

While that was bad enough, the client had even questioned Raju’s sincerity in approach; he felt that he was so obsessed with his own fanciful overreach that he was plainly missing out on the day-to-day ground realities which made execution of the contract more difficult if not impossible.  Raju’s ego therefore was heavily bruised.  

It was in this context that the old man chose not to discourage him, but decided that he will go a step ahead by actually encouraging him with that rebuke to Anand.  He was however very pleased to find that Anand did not respond mindlessly, for which he had made a silent prayer. He was therefore curious to know the cause for his unexpected laughter, as this was quite out of the character which was in display earlier.  

Anand was considerably more at ease now, and his regard for the old man grew. It was an incident of his school days he answered, and continued; there was this class of Trigonometry and the teacher asked the class a question which he vaguely remembered was something like  “what is cos theta by sine theta?”  One student answered “root three by two Sir”. There was laughter all round. 

This led him to imagine as to how it could have been –instead of the teacher restoring some order after the laughter that followed the answer, which he did - if someone totally out of context, picked on the subject of Square roots and traced its origins etc., and the teacher out of liking for the boy allowed himself to be so swayed by the narration as to lose the original theme itself namely Trigonometry, even going to the extent of reprimanding another student who prudently asked about the relevance.  

The scene after his remarks about the lad’s singing, the remarks of the others that followed, and then Raju’s hijack, and the striking  similarity between these and the response of a dunce to the teacher's query, and the subsequent illogical sequence of the classroom, was so funny that that it brought forth the laughter, said Anand. His reluctance to share this was therefore obvious. The old man chuckled, as if to confirm that he could now see and appreciate both Anand’s laughter, and his subsequent reluctance to offer an explanation.    

They arrived finally at the old man’s residence block. On an impulse Anand gave him a hug and murmured some kind of thanks for the understanding. The old man’s “Bye… take care”, instead of his usual God bless, was a bit amusing as it went more with the current young generation’s “take care” kind of taking- leave- messages.  

He came home, skipped dinner, and had a banana with a cup of milk before retiring to bed early. The old man’s reference to “contexts” existing outside the topic of discussion and influencing “out of context” responses intrigued him in addition to the “take care” message. 

Not getting sleep he recalled all those incidences from his early childhood days where the old man’s observation could be applied: 

He was barely five when he could sing and reproduce songs of some of the great’s of those times, almost exactly. Yet another girl child slightly elder to him but with no association to anything akin to good singing was almost all the time the favorite of his elders as the girl had a single parent and needed encouragement.

He was about ten and was more than good at Cricket. The neighbor’s son used to play regularly with him, and Anand would invariably thrash this boy’s bowling but yet the father having noticed some imagined weaknesses in his batting, had felt that bowling on his legs would fetch his wicket. And just once his son did that and Anand was out. Whenever any topic was discussed later, this wicket taking event was the topic to which everyone was steered. The boy had a stepmother and needed some pep-up.     

By the time he went to college he rued his parent’s decision not to engage a tutor to hone his sharp taste in Music. He found that he could sing and knew about Music better but yet in any discussions any contribution from his side would be deemed “out of context”.

His boss in office would not take any suggestion seriously till it was from the one he knew and liked. The suggestion itself was secondary. Anand would therefore route all his suggestions thru a person who was a favorite of the boss. The context here was simply his fellow and not the suggestion per se.  

He was so amused, with this chain of past events, that his wife woke up and asked as to what he was dreaming about which was so funny. He finally slept and around early morning hours woke up with a mild headache. He took a Crocin tablet and went back to sleep and woke up again quite late around 10 in the morning. He had a call from Raju about something and when he said about his headache etc., as usual Raju went on about headaches in general, and Crocin in particular much to the Anand’s amusement first and irritation later, as it dragged on and on.

He finally lost his cool and told Raju that he should go and participate in a TV panel discussion, where everyone who could talk endlessly and preferably “out of context” were given pride of place and hung up on Raju. 

The moment he said that he realized the full import of the old man’s “take care” message. And then, out of the blue a very bizarre thought crossed his mind.; giving respect to the other fellow’s “context” all the time, without being able to say anything himself, was akin to being an eunuch, employed as a harem keeper. 

Before he could even be shocked, it strangely occurred to him that this thought offered a kind of warped similarity with prescribed path to Nirvana.  In the midst of all the passionate allurements of the material world,(a close resemblance to the harem of beauties),if one can remain detached all the time(again a close resemblance to the Eunuch) Nirvana is inevitable. Hardships like say the physical handicaps or yielding to “out of context” harangues out of a sense of “paropakaram” (if you will) can often serve as aides. 

This was so perversely shocking that he yelled out in frustration, just when the phone bell rang mercifully. It was his daughter from far away Canada, and he was immensely pleased and looked forward to at least an hour of relative peace, calm, and happiness… Nirvana can wait………

Sutradhar’s comments.

The G in the title of the story “CWG” refers to my brother whose name is an exotic Gulpa (corrupted from Gulpha) and with whom I share a regular and meaningful conversation, like Walsch in his conversation with God. How he got to have this name Gulpa, could be another story. 

Anand’s imagination about the “Eunuch Harem Keepers” and the subsequent yelling in frustration, are neither bizarre nor perverse; they are his anguished “Voices in Wilderness” of many of the Anands of the world. 

“See yourself in a mirror and understand that you are both the cause and remedy for your problems” or “Have faith and Ask and He will deliver”, and “be positive” kind of clichés only sound frustratingly naïve to them.  

God’s apparent indifference to these Anands in abject helplessness, makes one agonize over the remotest possibility of His choosing -in this age of kali- to be in the second category of classifications namely “Educated but enjoy being Idiots”. 

There are of course the rarest of rare exceptions, which He makes for those who are unquestioningly faithful, who anyways remain steadfastly faithful regardless of His shenanigans.       

Who then is to give that steadying and healing touch to the wavering minds and wounded hearts of all others and especially the Anands?

Ekalavya alias Vichu
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