Sunday, August 16, 2009

Shruti's query No. 1 Children Series

Dear Members of the Blog,

I was talking with appa about Vichu athan’s posting in the blog when I asked appa if I can ask questions in the blog.

I have a question which has been rotating in my mind since I was in fourth.

Suppose there is a person who thinks he can sing well, but actually his voice is not so good. He wants to sing in front of a small audience. The audience does not want to break his heart but they still want to make him realize that he does not sing well.

Then how would they do this?

Thank you
Shruti

3 comments:

  1. Hi Shruti,

    There is one point which is not very clear; does the small audience hears him and then decide the guy is no good, or they know that already and do not want him to sing at all?

    In the first instance, I would tell him that in today's times, unless one is extremely good, ( and also add as an aside that one needs big sponsors to promote even when one is very good) there is little scope for any great progress. Though he is good, I will add, and point out that there are a lot others who are as good, and also that there are quite a few who are better. Thus if this guy wants to pursue singing, he has to train himself hard.

    If the audience had not given an opportunity to him to sing, the same argument will still hold, but with an addition, that the guy will be told that we would however like to give him one more opportunity, before deciding, and he should accept the verdict gracefully.

    Are you satisfied dear?

    Love

    Vichu

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  2. Shruti,

    That is an absolutely intelligent and sensitive question! In many situations like these, ask "What Would Love Do Now"? And do whatever your heart tells you to.

    In this case, a loving person, (think Amma or Appa), might do many things:

    1. Do not be mean. Do not judge too harshly or vocally. He may not sing well, but you still want to be nice to him. Perhaps it is ok to give him a chance and let him enjoy himself by trying out on a friendly audience.

    2. On the other hand, be honest. Don't lie by saying he sings well when you really think he does not. Nicely and politely, people should tell him how they really feel.

    So there! Be nice, be loving, be polite, be honest. Don't be mean, don't be judgemental. In this situation, and always!

    Love,

    Arun

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  3. Hey Shruti,

    Its lovely to see a posting from you !

    I , generally speaking, agree with both Vicchuchittappa and Arun.
    I would also like to add something that you must always remember - Say the positive before the negative. If you just tell someone that he isnt too good (at singing or anything else) -he is likely to not only feel bad but also see you as a mean person and not take you seriously. So you will not have helped him at all.

    Instead - look for the POSITIVE first. there must be something you like - his choice of songs, his enthusiasm , his music teacher. Its ALWAYS possible to find something nice to say.

    Once you have found that positive thing - say it first and then follow on to give him the gently and honest feedback that you think will help him.

    Also remeber - you may think someone isnt good -a nd you may not be right. So alwyas make clear that what youa re saying is your personal opinion only .

    I hope thsi helps, sweetie !
    Love
    Madhuri

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