Jignyaasaa - An Appraisal

Jignyaasaa : A stock taking, and appraisal.

There is this real story (the term is an oxymoron- it’s either true or a story! but let it pass as I do not have any other term) about one Thethiyur Subramanian, a highly knowledgeable and recognized scholar of our spiritual texts.

One day, a modest looking man, is said to have approached and requested the scholar to clarify a small doubt about a piece in the “bhagawad gita” . The latter is alleged to have prostrated before this man in mock humility, and added that he is indeed blessed to have had darshan of someone who just had a single doubt!! Even when recognized as a scholar, he had never been able to clear doubts about a whole lot of pieces!!!!

The general “bhaktha kotis” narrate this to emphasize not only the true greatness of “thethiyur”, but thoroughly enjoy his sarcasm/and the sense of humor, in the same breath. I was one of those who were immensely impressed with this piece of anecdote. But now, with my growing impatience with the profound wisdom and the supercilious mien of the so called “tradionalists”, I have entered a phase where, I am at odds with many of these inherited traits, (upbringing in pure traditional milieu) and have begun to nurture grave misgivings about whether the rest of my present life, will continue in the same meandering way, going by the indicative past.

I am probably digressing; let me get back to thethiyur, contrary to collective wisdom, I seem to empathize totally with the modest man, and quite appalled at the insensitivity of this scholar to a seeker of clarifications.( My vichiism on sensitivity seems apt incidentally). The former was not probably educated, can be granted. But the framing of a simple query can leave a room for the latter to pounce on him such, is quite unimaginable. The bhaktha kotis, joy in narrating this, adds to my unease. Is it too much for me to expect, that at least one among these, to even nurture the thought that the scholar is being unduly brash, arrogant, and totally lacking in sensitivity?

One cannot also forget that in the process, a perhaps genuine query is left unanswered, or the scholar was quite rattled by the query, for which there was no answer readily available to him?

Lest you all get impatient as to where this is leading to, or to ask about the connection of this story to “jignyaasaa” blog, let me get to it straight away. My unease over the years, (I can hear Umashankar’s oh! not again! remark), was one of the major reasons for penning my thoughts; the scholars/teachers/pundits have neither the time nor sufficiently logical answers, nor the patience to stoop down to dispel misgivings, which were probably an outcome from lack of elementary basics, and not worth attempts to clarify.

The feeling was that, sharing with others, or even repeated visits to the same subject can perhaps generate more pondering, and would somehow bring forth answers. It was at these times that Ambu’s ballistic message setting time tables, a road map for future commercialization etc, came. And quite unsurprisingly, the gen-next was impressed enough; and lo behold, a blog, was created. For me – I was writing anyway- a portal, where all of it can be in one place, was just made available.

In that euphoria, I started enthusiastically, and even copied some earlier pieces, to give it, a bulk, and also help bringing my pieces to the same place, quite oblivious of the facts that the whole exercise was meant to be participative, and apart from me no one else was quite besieged with my sense of unease. And perhaps more pertinently, I had not quite prepared myself to accept that the world outside, even within one’s family, could have different perspectives, and which either could result in brusque dismissals or plain skimming over/ avoiding any serious reading of the pieces.

Both of these however have been helpful in my journey of “jignyaasaa”. The disappointment or anger, or even disgust, over the scheme of His things, is seemingly reducing. Since it’s my quest, the responses irrespective of its nature, or even the absence of it, has to be only a learning curve, kind of belief, is slowly creeping in.

Which beg the questions, does it then mean that I continue to write without a care for others sensibilities and make it less and less participative? Or just to make it more participative, I start on something totally mundane, like say “Sardarji Jokes” columns. To be fair (to myself) I tried different things, Vichiism, quotes, even poetry, but honestly, none of these could generate a lively stirring conversation. Funnily, though I am both dissatisfied ( in not getting enough responses) and also simultaneously satisfied (as there is a place to park my feelings for posterity) to write my pieces happily hoping to find my own answers, some day.

Is this the way the blog will have to continue?

Vichiism – which I define as an expression of thoughts which pithily brings forth one’s angst,- seems to me worth pursuing with, as this will probably keep interest alive and make exchanges easy. So I will start with this from today and hope there are interesting, spirited continuous exchanges. I do hope this suggestion to help continue the blog is read first of all!!!!!!

Love

Vichu